When I was in grade school, Twinkies were my goal in life. No, you did not read that wrong. They were my GOAL IN LIFE. When both of your parents work in the medical field, you really don’t have many opportunities to eat junk food. No sugary cereals or Lunchables. No hot lunches or Pizza Fridays. No sodas or frozen treats that have more than five ingredients. Oh yeah, and you can just forget about anything Hostess. For a kid, that’s a life of deprivation of the worst kind. In retaliation, I became junk food fiend.
More after the jump…
I had this teacher who’d make Hostess snacks the reward for students with the most “participation” points that week. Basically, students could earn points each time they raised their hands to ask a relavent question or provided an answer to a question being asked. Using junk food to manipulate a bunch of grade school munchkins: totally evil, but soooo smart.
When I said Twinkies were my goal in life, I wasn’t kidding. At that point in my life, they were, and I wasn’t the only one to feel this way! Oh to have one of those sickeningly sweet spongy bars of gold in your hands! To taste that creamy filling with that mildly banana-y shadow. Even to have that slightly acerbic aftertaste lingering on your tongue. Purely awesome. Needless to say Room 404 was pretty much the most attentive, curious and enthusiastic class in the entire school. Well, that is, until parents started complaining and Twinkies and CupCakes were replaced by gold star stickers and smiley face pencils…
So yeah, Twinkies were a huge part of my childhood, but I don’t believe I’ve eaten more than three in my entire life…one of them may have actually been deep fried and from a local county fair, which may be 100 times worse. I think that’s why I panicked when I thought Hostess would no longer be around. What if I never had another chance to eat a Twinkie again? Here I am, stuck in China during the last couple weeks of Hostess sales with no Twinkies in sight, suffering the most beastly cravings ever. Would my childhood dream never be realized again?
And that, my friends, is why I decided to make my own.
So without further ado, check out my recipe for some (not-as-terrible-for-you) homemade Twinkies! A fluffy golden spongecake filled with a marshmallow cream filling and just a hint of banana milk.
- 3/4 cup self-rising flour
- 2 tablespoons cassava starch
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- a pinch of salt
- 1/4 cup plain reduced fat yogurt
- 1 tablespoon of honey
- 1/4 cup skimmed milk
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 4 eggs (yolks and whites should be separated, but make sure there is absolutely not even a DROP of yolk in the whites)
- 1/4 cup heaving whipping cream
- 1 tablespoon banana milk
- 5 melted marshmallows
- 1/4 cup powdered sugar
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
The ingredient amounts I listed will probably make around ten to a dozen Twinkies, but keep in mind that like in all of my recipes, the amounts are rough estimates. I literally throw things in by the handful and tweak things by taste (pro-tip: always add the eggs in last so you can taste until the very last minute), a method that I do strongly encourage.
Alrighty! So as expected, this Bootleg Cook does not own a canoe pan. I took a look for you and it looks like there has been a mad dash to make homemade Twinkies recently. Amazon is all out. No worries, you can be bootleg like me and make your own molds from aluminum foil!
After a little experimenting, I found the the easiest way to make the molds is to fold the foil in half and wrap it around some kind of spice bottle. You know, those little seasoning thingies! In the glass or plastic cylindrical bottle/jar thingies! Something like THIS would do fine. You could also free-hand, just because you love being risky. You may want to coat them in some non-stick cooking spray.
(First ten ingredients only) Separate the eggs and refrigerate the eggs. I don’t know why, but cold eggs always seem to come out better when I need the whites to fluff. Beat the egg whites until they are very stiff and can basically hold their own shape. If you can cut into it with a spatula and lift out a slice, you’re in good shape!
Combine the flour, starch, sugar, baking soda and salt in a large bowl until evening combined. Then add in yogurt, milk, honey, vanilla and egg yolks. Mix until the batter is smooth.
At this point, scoop about a third of your egg whites and fold it in to the batter, GENTLY! When evenly mixed, add in another third. Repeat this step with the final third. Be careful! If you mix too vigorously, your spongecake will not be as fluffy.
Pour the batter into your aluminum foil molds and stick them into the oven for about ten minutes at 175C/350F or just until the cakes start turning a little golden. Not brown at all, just golden.
Let them cool before you peel off the foil.
The Banana-y Filling
First, you have to melt down your marshmallows. Do you have access to Marshmallow Fluff because you’re not as bootleg? You do? Use it. It’s so much easier. I melted the marshmallows in a bowl over heated water, whisking as you go. To hold the bowl over the water, I set it on a baking tin with a removable base. You can use a double boiler too, haha.
Add in the vanilla and banana milk. The convenience store right by my apartment had banana milk in stock, so I just bought a box (made a popsicle bar with the left overs). You could also just use a little bit of mashed banana instead. Let the marshmallow mix cool completed (you can stick it in the refrigerator for a couple of minutes).
Beat the whipping cream and sugar together until it looks like frosting, then mix in the cooled marshmallow mix. Scoop the mix into a piping bag and chill the bag in the refrigerator.
Assembling the Twinkies
If your Twinkies are uniform in size and shape, good for you! Mine were monstrous, so I cleaned them up with a serrated knife.
Using a chopstick, poke three holes in the bottom of each cake, hollowing out the inside as you go. Do this carefully to make sure the chopstick doesn’t poke through.
Using the chilled bag of marshmallowy-creamy-awesomeness, gently pipe the filling into each hole on the underside of the cakes. You’ll be able to feel when the cake starts to get full.
If you want, you can use the leftover spongecake shavings and filling (if you have any) to make another great treat with some fresh blueberries: